The Measure of a Leader

I have worked for many leaders throughout my career, some exemplary and others profoundly ineffective. Early in my professional life, I encountered a leader whose influence I did not fully appreciate at the time. Whenever he met someone new, he made a point to shake their hand and offer a compliment. These acknowledgments were always sincere and personal, never superficial observations about appearance.

I once asked him why he made such a consistent effort. He replied, “It is important to make people feel valued, particularly in a leadership role. Someone may be a dying plant, and a small amount of water, a genuine compliment, may be enough to carry them through tomorrow.” That perspective stayed with me. It underscored how small, intentional actions can produce disproportionate and lasting effects.

I have since been fortunate to work with other exceptional leaders. One in particular supervised a staff of approximately fifty individuals and made it a daily priority to engage in face to face interaction with each of them. Sometimes these interactions were brief check ins, sometimes thoughtful questions, and sometimes opportunities for staff to test ideas. Despite the many competing demands on her time, she never allowed those demands to eclipse her presence.

The message she conveyed was clear, consistent, and powerful. You matter.

Within the nuanced disciplines of leadership and management, we are formally trained in many procedural competencies, documentation, discipline, termination, and counseling among them. Yet over decades of both leading and being led, it has become evident to me that effective leadership remains scarce because it is taught incorrectly. Too often, organizations emphasize control over care, compliance over commitment, and fear over trust.

Leadership has one primary responsibility. To care for people. This constitutes the majority of the role. Leadership is, at its core, a position entrusted with cultivating the growth and development of others. When individuals in leadership positions spend the bulk of their time isolated in offices responding to emails, reviewing spreadsheets, or analyzing budgets, they are neglecting the very people they are meant to serve. In doing so, they forfeit the essence of leadership itself.

When employees discover that offering a thoughtful suggestion results only in silent dismissal, perhaps symbolized by a gesture toward a wastebasket, they quickly learn that their perspectives are neither welcomed nor valued. In such environments, innovation, psychological safety, and engagement deteriorate rapidly.

There exists an alarming number of ineffective leaders across industries, and this reality must be confronted directly. If one is unwilling or unable to care for people, to invest in their growth, and to genuinely listen to them, one should not occupy a leadership role. When employees are reduced to entries on an expense sheet rather than recognized as the most valuable organizational investment, leadership has failed. When leaders emphasize the cost of compensation rather than the value created, they have failed.

It is also time to abandon hollow rhetoric. Leaders should refrain from claiming they treat employees “like family.” Families are frequently complex and dysfunctional, and the workplace should not replicate those dynamics. Similarly, leaders should reconsider interrogating employees about abstract personal mission and vision statements. For many workers, their mission is pragmatic and honorable. To provide for their households and return home to their families safely at the end of the day.

Leadership is not the act of coercing compliance. It is the deliberate practice of selecting capable individuals and assuming responsibility for their success. When employees are confident that leadership is invested in their well being and growth, productivity does not merely improve. It accelerates. Conversely, when employees fear disciplinary consequences for unavoidable life events, such as a child’s emergency medical visit, they disengage, resent leadership, and operate under chronic stress.

Fear is not a sustainable leadership mechanism. It is a slow and inevitable path to organizational failure.

Today’s American workforce is experiencing unprecedented levels of stress. Workers are balancing child rearing, elder care, and escalating living expenses. When these pressures are compounded by workplaces that diminish rather than develop their people, the consequences are severe. Burnout, disengagement, mental health deterioration, and talent attrition are not hypothetical outcomes. They are current realities.

This necessitates reflection. Leaders should ask themselves a fundamental question. Has anyone ever said to you, “You were the best leader I ever worked for?” I have been told that. If you have not, it is imperative to reassess your leadership approach immediately.

“Do not teach employees merely how to build ships. Teach them to appreciate the vastness of the sea, and the work of building will assume purpose rather than burden.” Someone great said that once.